The Gift of Goodbye

"What you allow, will continue".

Sometimes dealing with negative individuals is a challenge. And we learn that which we tolerate, is often what we get back in return and that is a result of us teaching others how to treat us. The same goes for what we put a stop to, we reinforce. With that said, I believe that people often come into our lives for either a reason, a season or a lifetime. And there are times when we have to say goodbye to some individuals or rather refrain ourselves from being around them.

What am I saying?
Firstly, some environments (and people) are simply not conducive to our growth. And they prevent us from flourishing. For example, people who have started pulling you down or those who have left you and you continue to struggle to move forward because you are fixated on what was. And until you come to terms with the fact that you've outgrown some people (or that they have a negative impact on your well-being), they may continue to be leeches. Yes, leeches - parasites that are known for sucking blood (life) and that is exactly what some individuals do.
They 'use' others to to get what they want. These types of friendships and relationships are destructive. And when someone is pulling you down choose to leave. Don't let them pollute your mind or even be persuaded to listen to your emotions. Rather keep them in check.

Today, maybe that is the exact position you find yourself in and you have tried to glue the broken pieces together of a toxic relationship or friendship. But deep down you know that it is not healthy to hold onto such things yet you keep on doing so anyway - you keep opening the door for guilt and condemnation. And you keep going back. You continue to think you can change people. Instead of doing that, choose to walk away. From past experience, I can tell you that some goodbyes are not easy but they are necessary so you can move on in your life. I love the point Jentzen Franklin makes, "You know that you have forgiven someone when you have the power to hold a grudge against someone but you don't do it". What that means is that when you purposely decide to take the high road, you choose to abide by Mathew 5:44. You choose to love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and you pray for them that despitefully use and persecute you. And such acts do not imply that you are a pushover or weak but that you learned to hold your ground and that you value your peace more than approval, fame and fortune. I know that some of you reading this post right now, may be mourning the loss of a cherished friendship or relationship but find comfort in knowing that God has something else in store for you, something better. And things willl start looking better once you quit looking back and look ahead.

God knows what He's doing. Trust Him. And as you seek Him and surround yourself with those who seek His Will, you permit that He helps you fulfill your destiny. With that said, let me remind you that as you change in life, your circle of friends will also change. That may take some getting used to and some people may not like the new you, but do not let that get you down. God will put the right people in your path. And they will draw you closer to Him and pull you away from compromising positions. Those are the types of people you want to surround yourself with. For the Bible states in Proverbs 18:24 that a true (genuine and faithful) friend sticks closer than a brother. I would like to emphasize the word 'sticks' in this context for it reminds me that such individuals are by your side through the good times and the bad times. And such a strong blood tie is not superficial one as these individuals possess love, grace, and wisdom. They are authentic, givers and they remain faithful to the end. They also protect one another. Now that is what you call a blessing.

So, when you find yourself in a rut regarding friendships or relationships for that matter, remind yourself it's not quantity but quality that matters. And if you ask God to reveal the truth to you, He will. For if there is one thing that I have learned from sticky situations, it's that God uses them too, He teaches us about ourselves and others. But most importantly, they also teach us to stir ourselves up and to live by faith, not sight. My prayer for you today is that you know that God causes all things (the good, the bad and the ugly things) to work together for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). For His purpose prevails even when our own plans fail. Do not let disappointment get the better of you, instead keep going!

What God has for you is FOR you! That includes health, blessings, a sound mind and so much more. Cherish those gifts and make the most of them, for a gift is meant to be used.

- Mel ♡♥♡