Made For More

What is your current spiritual condition?

Are you running in your lane, or someone else's?

Are you fully awake or still in a deep sleep?

Are you longing to do something great or are you content with where you are?

For me, I've encountered this hunger for more, a longing to make a difference. I realized that I don't want a minimal life. So I wondered how to fill that deep desire. And I kept on hearing these words, "Start where you are. Use what you have". I admit that at first, I had my reservations. I looked at my surroundings and thought I should start somewhere else as I didn't see how I'd belong where I was. And maybe that was a result of not feeling as if I was 'at home'. But I knew deep down that I was created to belong, to have a deeper connection and for intimacy.

I then diverted back to my initial thoughts, 'How do I go about doing something slightly different this year?'. By my own standards, I questioned whether I was capable and worthy. Maybe I complicated things a little by over-thinking it all and playing the 'What if game'. You know, the one whereby you play scenarios out mentally? Imagining what if you done this or that and weighing the outcomes.

But what I was actually doing was procrastinating and delaying things for a few weeks and then months, because I imagined things playing out differently. And if I have to be honest, I didn't feel ready for this. It startled me. And to begin another thing from scratch seemed DAUNTING. The old way of doing things seemed easier and I wasn't necessarily eager to practice a new technique. Nonetheless, I had to break the barriers in my mind and decide that I was going to show up and do as I was told. For I yearned for the things of God and desired to make a difference. And I believed that I would figure it out as I go. So God's Will would be done in my life and not my own.

I began to pray this prayer, "God, what's next for me? Please show me what to do next. Make me open-minded to your will and your plans. Help me see with Your eyes - eyes of faith and not just my physical eyes. Open my ears so I may hear your voice and do your will. For I want to embrace this next phase of my life with you. I want to be a partaker and not an onlooker. Use me!". 

And I share this story with you because I knew that I possessed a 'baton' which I had to use and not just ignore. I had some knowledge and skills on how to help others. But I had to make a choice between building up yet another team or building myself. And it became clear to me that it was time for me to embrace a new experience... 'field work'. It was time for me to get more involved, possess new compassion for people, give more of myself to the community and share Jesus with others on a much deeper level and on a different platform...

See, I came to the realization that where you are in life, is not necessarily who you are. And that was an 'Aha moment' for me. I knew that I had more to offer but I wasn't offering it to others as yet as I didn't know how to go about it.

So I decided to check in with God - to acknowledge Him and enquire about His plan once again. And I realized that I didn't give much thought to the fact that our divine purpose comes with an appointed time. 

At that moment in time, God was asking me to be present. Inviting me to work on one task at a time. He let me see that He gives us the space and time to develop and grow particular characteristics and skills. And we have to be patient with ourselves. We may think we're ready for the next level, but until we get the 'Go ahead' from God, we should wait. Pace ourselves. Know that God's timing and ways are perfect and He will promote us in His perfect timing. Another important point is that once we attain those things which we desire, we ought to share them with others and not keep them for ourselves. For it is more blessed to give than to recieve.

I then realized this, when God has something to teach me, He brings me a teacher. Yes, a teacher! For adults aren't too old to learn new lessons too, you know. And when I am ready and show up for class, He appears. Reminding me that I am a student of life and I have to learn and relearn how to work with Him. Not against Him. I know that I am continuously being taught to trust and obey even before I understand what He's calling me to do. And I do admit, there have been moments in my life, where I wished I could just fast-foward time, or use other means to get there but I heard the Holy Spirit nudge me again, saying "Slow and steady. That's simply the key to developing a deeper relationship with God". That's the key to going further and attaining success. And I have to give things, people and myself time to grow. For some things can't be rushed.

I have to trust His training methods. For God is a progressive God. And sometimes He operates on the principle of "gradual growth" whereby He changes things and us, little by little so we can handle what's ahead of us. For when we take it upon ourselves to take on too much too soon, we may feel overwhelmed or experience a spiritually burnout. And that's our doing.

A few weeks ago I took a time to reflect on David's life and I realized that after 15 years of receiving the prophesy, he became king. The prophesy spoken over him was fulfilled! But prior to being crowned King, the tests and trials came. He had battles to fight. Some were avoided and others were welcomed. Yet he kept his mind set on the right direction. And during that time, God was still working on him, for He had 'creases to iron out' in David and those around him. I'm pretty sure they made him uncomfortable at times and he didn't like the heat, obstacles, separation or the loneliness but all these things forced him to stretch and grow. And in the end, they all prepared him for his new position. 

I share that story with you as it taught me a valuable lesson, don't rush the process. I may want to move into the future that God has for me right now. But before I can attain it, I need to be present, live through this moment and be faithful with what He's already given me. Multiply it and not bury it in the ground. I need to put in the work. Embrace this moment. Be determined! But also let  Him soften the places where I'm impermeable or hard. And strengthen those areas where I am weak. As I confess that I too, need help and a saviour. I need to be filled with hope daily and in the same way, I must spread that hope onto every person I meet.

During this season in my life, I can have peace knowing that I, may not physically see what it is that God is currently doing, but I can still believe Him and know that He works all things for my good and yours (Romans 8:28). I can be present in the here and now and offer what I have as an act of worship. For God is able to do more with an open hand than a closed fist. And as He persues me, I can be more open, as oposed to being closed off therefore embracing Him too, wholeheartedly.

P.S. You can do whatever God asks you to do.

"You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body" (1 Corinthians 6:19). 

- Mel