On Guard Duty

📷: Synonym.tech 

A note to the girl or guy on 'guard duty'.

Please mark an X next to any of the statements that apply to you.

Have you ever been on guard? 

□ Securing the parameters of your heart

□ Shielding yourself from disappointment, pain and suffering

□ Safeguarding your purity

□ Setting up boundaries and honouring them

□ Protecting your thoughts, filtering your speech and watching your actions and that of others

□ Being alert of what enters and dwells in your heart

If you've crossed off most or all of these statements, you're not alone. Taking Proverbs 4:23-27 quite seriously. It says,

 "Guard your heart above all else for it determines the course of your life. Avoid all perverse talk, stay away from corrupt speech. Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you. Mark out a straight path for your feet, stay on the safe path. Don't get sidetracked, keep your feet from following evil".

My confession:

This is a scripture I have loved and lived by. Maybe at times, I've held onto this one a little too tightly in an attempt to honour Him and shield myself. This whole quarantine period has revealed something to me that I, Mel, have been ON GUARD, and practicing social distancing long before the Coronavirus arose. For I steer clear from anything toxic. I keep outsiders out and sometimes, I even prevent insiders from getting too close. I do that because I am mindful of those who could possibly be untrustworthy and pose as a threat. And maybe I also do that because it's easier to put my guard up than to be vulnerable... For I firmly believed that caution is not a weakness and that it can in fact, keep one from being careless and getting hurt.

That is not to say that I expect the worst of people or that I live inside a bubble, I don't. I love deeply. I show my true self. I take (calculated) risks. I try my best to uphold that scripture and guard my heart, mind, emotions and body. I value friendships and relationships, and I believe that God values our hearts and the inner part of ourselves. For that reason, I don't just give my heart away or instantly trust everyone I meet. Because I believe that a heart is a precious organ, not just physically but spiritually too. For it comprises of our thoughts, feelings and desires. And it is tied to the source of life, springs of life and issues of life.

Today I have decided to talk about the heart because it represents the inner person and Proverbs 27:19 mentions that the heart reflects the real you. Isn't that profound?
Our hearts are a place where we store treasures such as God's Word. I personally, like to think that hearts look very much like secret gardens. Some are perceived to be organized, while others are a beautiful mess. We plant things in them such as love or hate, memories and dreams etc. And those things grow in height and depth. We protect it from abuse and neglect. But we also open up a bit more when we share commonalities with others. And it is there where we begin to store things that we value, so no one can snatch them away from us and so good things can come out of it.

But sometimes we don't do such a great job, when we stop life from flowing out of it. When we cling to things too tightly. And when we cause a clog to emerge in our hearts, we block off the air flow. We become somewhat closed off to others and put up a sign on our hearts, 'NO ENTRY'. Keeping individuals at a safe distance because we know what it's like to feel hurt, disappointed and crushed. Fear can do that. It can cause you to avoid being vulnerable and stepping out in faith. It can also cause you to get ahead of God, and make a judgment call on whether a person will hurt you or is bad news. Resulting in your mind being made up on who can be trusted and who can't.

The above instances are only a few signs that you're guarding your heart too much or possibly a wound, hindering God from working. I'll put things another way to illustrate how doubt develops and grows. When an individual hears a lot of lies from a deciever, unbelief comes. They harbour it and it grows permitting pollution to circulate. To counter it, we have to clear the air, uproot the lie, then plant new seeds and listen to something different. That something different would be the Word (Truth) for it develops faith. And the more we hear it and not the world, the greater good it does us. As it changes us from the inside out.

 Luke 6:45 has helped me a lot in this department and in distinguishing if a person is good or not. Giving me peace of mind. It states that, "A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart". 

By disecting this scripture, finding the differences between safe (good) and unsafe (bad) people, I have gotten a much better understanding of what qualifies an individual as safe. A safe person or relationship draws us closer to God, closer to others and helps us become the real man or woman that God intended us to be. While unsafe people steer us in the opposite direction. Another significant point is that safe people support emotional, physical and spiritual boundaries and allow us to make emotional connections. By that I mean, they have qualities like Jesus. And there's a good and healthy bond between us and other individuals. They are responsible, able to handle our vulnerability and also share their own heart with us. They also posses two great qualities: grace and truth.

In terms of the type of 'products' or fruits individuals are producing, I have found that fruits too can help us identify who are the safe people in our lives. For fruitfulness in an individual is a result of bonded relationships and fellowship. That means where there is love, a sense of belonging and affirmation there is the ability to trust. And God wants us to trust Him and be fruit-bearers. He wants us to learn to respond and not merely react to people and circumstances. In order to do that we have to have good, appropriate boundaries. Now that means you know what you're responsible for, you know what you'll allow and what you can and cannot control. So you don't over-extend yourself .

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Please note:
Safe people possess a healthy character. They possess good fruit such as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self- control (Galatians 5:22-23). They are accepting and speak the truth out of love, not anger. Then take a look at 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and see what love is not. It is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand it's own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. The differences caught my eye immediately and revealed what I call 'red flags'. Red flags are characteristics that unsafe people possess. And they caused me to pause for a second and ask myself, which of those flags do I see in others and am I holding any red flags myself? (Another post for another day).

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Anyway, these revelations and main points were a real game changer for me. For I see now that being overly guarded can do more damage than good, if we're not careful. See God never intended for us to keep looking over our shoulders and have our hearts chained and imprisoned. For we can't grow in isolation. He did however, intend that our hearts be well taken care of, cherished and protected so we could go on to bear good fruit and multiply. See God Himself said it's not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). Therefore He wants us to establish healthy emotional attachments. He Himself is a bonded being. And He wants us to bond with Him and others through meaningful relationships. Be connected so you may build up your strength.

(If you wanna know more about Safe People, I recommend that you read the book by Dr Henry Cloud and John Townsend)

This post has encouraged me not only to put myself under the microscope but shed some light on my habits, the condition of my heart and distorted thinking. For without it I wouldn't have realized that on some occasions, I may have been too quick to judge others by making generalizations that don't necessarily apply to them. I repent and I'm pulling out 'the weeds' from my mind and heart, so to speak. I am undergoing some reconfiguration as I see that too much isolation ain't a good thing. Nonetheless, there are blessings that come along with letting your guard down with good and safe people. They make burdens easier to bear when we share the load. They allow wonderful friendships and relationships to blossom and the list goes on. With that said, I have realized that I have some homework that I need to do...

1. Practice loosening up a bit more.
2. Tend to 'my own garden,' my heart a lot more as I see that the edges need some trimming. And I need to develop my trust muscles. For God wants us to rely on the Holy Spirit, work with Him and also be vulnerable to Him.
3. Take an inventory of my own character.
4. Make room for new fruit and new confidants.
5. Take more steps of Faith so caution doesn't become a crutch.

Has this post left you with some 'homework' of your own?
I would like to know.

I hope this piece has helped you. It has definitely helped me see things in a different light.

- Mel