All Too Sensitive

 

Am I too sensitive? 

Are my feelings easily hurt by others? 

Why did God create us with emotions? 

As I sat down, I pondered on those questions. And in all honesty I would probably answer, "Yes, at times I am too sensitive". I don't like displaying vulnerability but it's there. I feel deeply. I see it as a flaw in some instances as I let my emotions get the best of me. Sometimes being too sensitive leads to one being saddened all too quickly or hurt easily. You take words and comments to heart. Not brushing them off as quickly as they are uttered, but soak in them...Letting them linger on in your mind and spirit for days and then, internalize them. 

By definition, SENSITIVITY is having a capacity of being easily affected or moved. In some instances sensitivity speaks of the tendency to be quick to take offense or be offended; to be touchy and hurt. But it also has a good meaning, that of being attuned to the needs and feelings of others. (We are to avoid the extremes - oversensitivity and lack of sensitivity.) 

At times, I thought that I needed to toughen up or get better at hiding the soft heart. Easier said than done, I might add. I weighed the two constructs: emotional or emotionless. And I could not imagine myself being heartless. But I also couldn't remain 'touchy' or supersensitive either. I could not go through life always building walls to protect myself from getting hurt by others. I had to learn how to manage my emotions and not have my emotions manage me. I had to find some sort of balance between the two constructs as I realized that our feelings shape how we perceive things. As a woman, there are times in our lives when we feel more emotional than usual and our emotions are tested. But we must learn to control them, especially when wounds cut deep...we must be quick to disinfect them, extend forgiveness and let God do the healing.  

In my previous post, I mentioned that we are meant to deny the flesh the right to rule us, and in this post I want to emphasize that I do not deny its existence. I acknowledge that we as humans have emotions and they were given unto us by God. I have simply just drawn a line whereby, I firmly disallow my emotions to reign supreme. And I chose to live by the Truth. Daily I work on resisting emotions and putting on the garment of praise (Isaiah 61:3) so my heart isn't heavy. And I'm learning to rest, recuperate and ask God to strengthen me when I feel like an emotional wreck. 

{A little side note:

I hope you know that being sensitive, can be positive attribute. As it permits one to be inclined to be more empathetic to those hurting. It also permits deep feelings for others and sympathy for their needs. While spiritual sensitivity is the ability to perceive and respond to the call of God or the spiritual demands of the moment.} 

Emotions are not always easy to explain. Joyce Meyer has helped me make sense of things in this department and she made some profound statements in her book, Managing Your Emotions Instead of Your Emotions Managing You! If you would like a better understanding on the subject, I recommend that you read it. We all have various emotions and personalities, along with different strengths and weaknesses. To understand myself and others a bit better I decided to take a closer look at personalities. Personality types are broken into 4 groups of people:

~ Cholerics are those who are goal-oriented and like to be in control. They are adventurous, risk-takers and confident. They can also be impatient, but are natural born leaders. 

~ Phlegmatics are calm, patient and friendly people. They are realistic, shy, agreeable and strongly desire unity.

~ Sanguines are bubbly, sociable individuals and possess a spontaneous personality. They are optimistic and may over-commit at times.

~ And Melancholics, well they are deep thinkers, analytical, punctual and organized individuals. They also have a sensitive nature. (Guess you kinda now know under which categories I fall, lol 🙂). To sum it up, we are often a combination of two of the four personality groups. 

After reading this book, I saw that that if I continued to absorb hurt and offense, it would only weigh me down. The Holy Spirit also reminded me that he does not want us to take the statements and actions made by men and cling to them. Instead, we are to bless those who persecute us [who are cruel in their attitude toward us]; bless and do not curse them (Romans 12:14). And pray for the happiness of those who curse us, implore God's blessing (favor) upon those who abuse us [who revile, reproach, disparage, and high-handedly misuse you]" (Luke 6:28). For God wants us to be different from the world and these verses prompted me to go further than forgiving others, but to bless them so I can be blessed spiritually in return. He wants us to be more sensitive to the feelings and needs of others and less sensitive to our own feelings and needs. In today's world, many are fixated on self and few actually consider their peers. I know that when we are hurt, sometimes we forget that others may be hurting too. But, the game changer here is that we get to decide whether we let the cycle continue or be broken. And the mental notes and heart checks I make regularly help prepare my heart for instances when my feelings are hurt. So I can learn to be less supersensitive as a woman and more sensitive to God and His heart. And in doing so, I refrain from submitting to my emotions. 

Want to know how I manage my emotions?

Day by day... I am learning not to be led by my feelings but be moved to show compassion and understanding towards others. Which can be challenging at times. But I'm also learning to express my feelings in the correct manner and subject them to God. By doing this I build up my spirit man. Another significant point, the Bible teaches us that Jesus had years of learning before He entered His full-time ministry. As a child he grew in knowledge and power attending to our Father's business. I realize that my Teacher is still teaching me valuable lessons and I want to be a good student and steward. As I learn about grace, receive it, I should also willingly extend it. And I use this platform to be open about my life experiences as it is part of a healing process, growing process and teaching process for me. I know I still have years of learning ahead of me, there's no denying that and I embrace that notion. 

I hope this post encourages you dear friends. 

P. S. Don't let yourself get in the way of your own progress. Some of us need to ask God to soften our hearts, so it beats for what His heart beats for. And some of us need to ask God to strengthen our hearts, so we can roll with the punches and stand firm on the truth and not believe the devil's lies. 

- Mel