Insecurities


“I'm not ___________ enough!”

A phrase that we hear all too often...by ourselves...by those we care about...and even by our 'haters'.

These are 'little lies' men and women believe as they are whispered into our ears, causing us to doubt ourselves and our worth. I can personally say that when I created this blog, I hesitated as I asked myself if people were going to listen to me if I shared my heart with them. But as I have spoken and interacted with others, I realized that I am not the only one asking questions concerning my gifts and purpose. Many of you out there may have been or currently are in the same boat I was, rowing upstream questioning if you are really good enough, smart enough, resilient enough, capable enough or just confident enough.

Much of society is plagued by Atelopho­bia, the fear of imperfection. This mental affliction encourages individuals to be critical of themselves as well as others. And if you have ever struggled with perfection, self esteem or self resentment issues, you could relate to what I am saying. For when we make perfection the standard we may frequently fall short, especially when we do not measure up.

If we all had to be honest with ourselves, we would define insecurity as an ugly thing - a thing that steals our peace of mind. But more so, it is a defense mechanism that is characterised by humour, pretence and sometimes shyness. Sometimes it even compels us to avoid others as we become 'short sighted' and fail to look beyond the surface. It is therefore triggered by critical statements that emphasise our so-called 'weaknesses'.

The word insecurity describes feelings of restlessness, uncertainty and a lack of confidence in oneself. And isn't that exactly what happens when we feel insecure? We feel uneasy, rejected, as if something is weighing us down. As if something is filling our trust issues tank.

In this day and age that we live in, "We have an epidemic of insecure people in our society" as Joyce Meyer has observed. We tolerate negative self-talk, whereby we often put ourselves down. This is a norm that needs to be de-constructed.

Firstly, insecurity is not solely a female issue as men also feel insecure about themselves at times, this includes one's physical appearance (even though they may not directly admit it). They also compare and compete with other individuals in an attempt to find their place and identity in society.

As for the ladies, did you know that it is estimated that women have approximately 13 negative thoughts about their body, a day? Its true. As women we often find fault with our bodies. And research reveals that women are more likely than not to desire altering an aspect of their physical appearance. However, on the other hand, even put-together girls have self esteem issues. Therefore, very few women (3%) think that they are beautiful. These statistics are frightening, I know but something has to change in society.

Therefore, I ask you what are you filling your spirit and your flesh with?
Galatians 6:7-8 says, "A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life."

I'm pretty sure that the TV shows we watch and the magazines we read play a role in the way we view ourselves. Many of them focus on the outward appearance and consist of negative speech as they go as far as embracing our insecurities. But we as Christians need to remember that we are held to a different standard. We have to "take every thought captive," (2 Corinthians 10:5) that does not abide with the Word, for we might be in this world but we do not have to be or live like everyone of this world.

God wants us to be secure in Him. For when we are secure men and women, we are not reluctant to complement and encourage each other. Instead we are able to embrace who we are and see our differences as a good thing. The way I see it, we are different ON PURPOSE, so we can complement and build each other up.

If you have ever felt like an insecure mess, just remember that you are not alone. Fighting the struggle of perfection is far from easy but it is possible.

Here's how you can get past certain defences, challenges with appearance and various other insecurities:
1. Stop doubting your worth, magnifying what you do not like about yourself and focusing on your own inadequacies. Instead remember, that you don't have to earn what you have already been given - that is Grace. Get the thought of 'how inferior or imperfect you are' out of your head.
The Bible states that if we resist the devil and he will flee (James 4:7). So resist those thoughts. Also, keep in mind that “God does not judge by external appearance,” – 1 Samuel 16:7. He does not look at the things Man looks at.

2. Neuroscience reveals that whatever you focus on shapes your brain.
Therefore, sometimes you may need to preach to yourself. Stir yourself up.
Be intentional, replace negative thoughts with scriptures such as Song of Songs 4:7, “You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way”. (You may also ask a friend to encourage you when you are feeling down).

3. Openly receive His love.
You may need a physical reminder that God is crazy about you, so why not write the following on your mirror, "I AM THE RIGHTEOUSNESS OF GOD IN CHRIST JESUS".
And you don't have to be afraid to admit your weakness, God knows about all of your flaws and He still loves you.

So whether you are single or in a relationship, short or tall, happy right now, miserable or feeling insecure about your body or abilities you can find security in Him, for you are valuable!

P.S. Here are a few scriptures to meditate on and counter negative thoughts:
You are my treasure - Exodus 19:5
The Lord is your security - Proverbs 3:26
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11
I have loved you with an everlasting love - Jeremiah 31:3
I am for you, not against you - Romans 8:31
Don't copy the behaviour and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think - Romans 12:2
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness - 2 Corinthians 12:9
Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things. - Philippians 4:8



Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I hope you were encouraged.

- Mel ♡♥♡


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